We moved to a new house in 2020.
This isn’t such a huge deal for us, as we’ve gotten rather used to a nomadic lifestyle through 5 different countries over the past couple of years.
But that “transition time” is still hard.
You know, from the time things are half-packed in the old house through half-unpacked at the new one?
That feeling of being displaced is difficult for me and as soon as we get to a new place. I get manic about “settling in.”
I love that phrase, “a place for everything, and everything in its place.” and I’m always asking my kids, “where does this belong?”
So much so that I would stay up late telling myself, “just one more box,” rearranging furniture, and obsessing over how to organize the kitchen cabinets.
During that move, I realized something really important:
My obsessive settling in is okay. It’s actually good. Healthy.
As humans, it’s important for us to feel like we belong. In our selves, our relationships, our homes, our communities, and our world.
Anna Saucier
But it needs to be done in a way that contributes to — not takes away from — my well-being and that of my family.
Here are two lessons I learned from this particular move last year:
1. It’s okay to say, “This belongs here. For now.”
Sometimes we just don’t know – yet. And it’s okay to say, “I’m not going to unpack this bag yet. This bag belongs right here in this closet. For now.”
2. The power of using words of abundance rather than words of scarcity. For example:
“Oh my gosh there’s stuff everywhere and NOTHING is where it belongs. I don’t know how I’m going to get these boxes emptied and I have to work tomorrow and I won’t get any of this done until next weekend. If everyone would just leave me alone, I could get it done so quickly.”
versus
“What a blessing this new home is! I am excited to settle in and figure out a place for our things so that the whole family feels like they belong. I want to enjoy this process, and I have an abundance of time to make a beautiful home.”
I’m a work in progress on this, for sure.
In what other instances have you felt this sense of displacement in a time of transition? A job change? Getting back into a school routine?
